Dazai took in the layout of the unimpressive motel room with his nose wrinkled in displeasure. He could feel discontent radiating from his partner at his right side.
“Well, this freaking sucks,” Chuuya announced as he walked over to the lone, queen bed and threw his bag on top of it. Its contents spilled out onto the dingy kakebuton quilt that looked like it hadn’t been washed in years.
Dazai pivoted, making a break for the hallway. Chuuya could have this room all to himself. He’d rather sleep on the sofa near the reception desk than share a bed with the slug.
“Oi! Where the hell d’you think you’re going?”
Dazai broke into a sprint.
A gloved hand grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled, jerking his head back. He yelped, flailing as he tried to find his balance, but then a short, annoyingly strong hatrack was picking him up and throwing him over his shoulder.
Dazai struggled against the awkward hold for a moment before giving up. His arms hung limply down Chuuya's backside, fingertips almost touching the disgusting carpet as he was carried back into the room. Dazai lifted his hands to dig his fingers into Chuuya’s calves. Hard.
“Fucking bastard!” Chuuya yelled, flinging him so that he landed face-up on the bed.
Or rather, on top of Chuuya’s bag.
“Oww,” Dazai whined, rubbing his hip bone, which had landed on something hard. “What did Chuuya pack in there, bricks?”
“Oh, shut up. Where were you even going? This is the only available room.” Chuuya crossed his arms and leveled Dazai with a glare. “Besides, I’m sure you’ve slept in worse places.”
Dazai gave him a dirty look. “Nothing could be worse than sleeping with you.”
Chuuya threw his hands up in exasperation before ripping his bag out from under Dazai. He ignored Dazai’s whine as he stalked towards the bathroom, then turned back to jab a finger in Dazai’s direction.
“If you’re not right there when I get out, I’ll tell the Boss that you’re the one who shredded the reports from the last executive meeting.”
Dazai blew a raspberry at him as the door closed, then flopped back onto the bed with a sigh. A tiny smirk tugged at his lips.
That had been a good prank. Mori’s face had been priceless.
A few minutes later, the toilet flushed, and Dazai made sure to move over exactly five centimeters to the left before Chuuya exited the bathroom.
Chuuya raised an eyebrow at him, but Dazai just smiled innocently.
“Tch. Bathroom’s yours. Hurry up so we can go to bed.”
Chuuya pulled a few protein bars out of his bag and eagerly tore into one. He had changed into a black tank top and sweatpants, and his hair fell in messy waves around his chin after being released from its ponytail. He’d begun tying it back since it had gotten longer, and Dazai couldn’t say he disliked it.
Dazai sighed, long and aggrieved, but swung his legs off of the bed and padded into the bathroom. He closed the door and locked it discreetly. Chuuya hated it when he locked doors, but he must not have heard the lock click, because there was no angry dog barking outside of the door.
After using the facilities, Dazai shut off the light, grabbed their one complimentary towel, and climbed into the bathtub. He spread the towel out over the hard surface and lowered himself into a reclined position, then pulled his oversized, black coat over himself as a blanket.
He sighed. It wasn’t comfortable— not in the least— but Chuuya hadn’t been wrong about having slept in worse places.
Besides, he wasn’t expecting to get much sleep anyway.
Not in his loose, dirty bandages. Not in his stiff work clothes. And certainly not with Chuuya so close by.
A fist banging on the door interrupted his rumination.
“Oi, you little shit. Hurry up and get out here so we can go to bed!” Chuuya barked from the other side of the door.
Dazai smirked. “I’m already going to bed.”
There was a pause before Chuuya spoke again. “What?”
“Chuuya said the bathroom is mine,” Dazai singsonged.
Another pause.
“You mean you’re gonna sleep in there?”
“Stop yapping, doggy. I’m trying to sleep.” Dazai waved a hand at the door, even though Chuuya couldn’t see it.
Chuuya growled and kicked the bottom of the door. “Y’know what? Fine. Sleep in the damn bathroom for all I care. I’m too tired for your shit.” Chuuya’s voice faded as he walked away, presumably to go to bed.
Dazai rolled his eyes. Why did Chuuya care where he slept? It was his own choice. If he wanted to sleep in the moldy bathtub, who was Chuuya to object?
Besides, he should be grateful. Now Chuuya got the bed all to himself.
Dazai pulled the coat tighter around himself, feeling goosebumps appear underneath his bandages. This place had no heating, so he would’ve been cold, even in the bed.
It was fine. He could handle a bit of cold.
✩₊˚.☪︎ ⁺₊✧
Two hours later, and Dazai’s knobby bones were knocking against the tub with every shiver. Not only that, but he had a crick in his neck from his uncomfortable position in the tub.
He’d survived much worse nights than this, but that didn’t make it any less miserable. However, he’d made his bed, so now he had to lie in it. He would just have to bear it until morning.
There was a sloppy knock on the door.
Dazai was so lost in his thoughts that he startled, head bumping against the hard tub.
“Dazai?” Came the sleepy voice.
Dazai’s ears perked up at the sound.
The doorknob rattled as Chuuya tried to open it, but then he gave up with a tired sigh. “Dazai, I know you’re awake.”
“Did Chuuya miss me that much?” Dazai called back quietly— the teasing tone barely audible in the stillness.
He heard Chuuya blow out a frustrated breath through his nose. “C’mon, Dazai. Just come to bed, alright?”
Dazai didn’t answer and he could see the shadow of Chuuya’s feet at the bottom of the door— waiting.
Hoping.
For whatever reason, Chuuya wanted Dazai to share the bed with him.
There was a thud that sounded suspiciously like Chuuya’s forehead coming to rest against the thin door.
He sounded like he was half-asleep.
Another shiver ran through Dazai, and he made up his mind. Silently, he climbed out of the tub and pulled the door open.
Chuuya didn’t stumble, but Dazai was sure that if he touched him right now, Chuuya would topple.
“Fine.” Dazai drew out the word, doing his best to sound put out. “If Chuuya wants to sleep with me so bad, then I suppose I have no choice.”
Chuuya clicked his tongue. “Don’t make it weird, bandaged freak.” He crawled into the bed, leaving plenty of room for Dazai on the other side.
Dazai just stared.
“Just lie down and go to sleep, alright?” Chuuya sounded a bit frustrated now. He always did get cranky when he was overtired.
The thought made Dazai want to grin, but the idea of climbing into bed beside Chuuya was too sobering.
He hesitantly approached the bed, then finally climbed in. He pulled the covers up to his chin and turned onto his side— away from Chuuya. He held back a sigh of relief as he finally started to warm up.
“Night, Shitty Dazai,” Chuuya mumbled into his pillow. He sounded like he was already practically asleep.
Oh. So that’s it.
Chuuya couldn’t sleep without all present members of his pack in sight— within easy reach in case Chuuya had to protect them.
Like he’d been doing for the entirety of what he remembered of his life.
The Sheep.
And now Dazai was his pack. He couldn’t sleep without knowing that Dazai was alright and within range of his protection.
Such a loyal dog, he huffed, but it was fond. He closed his eyes and tried to let sleep overtake him.
✩₊˚.☪︎ ⁺₊✧
An hour later, and he was starting to think the bathtub had been a better setup.
At least there, he wasn’t being forced to the edge of the bed because of a partner who took up a surprising amount of space for his size.
Chuuya was splayed out on his back, limbs thrown every which way as light snores left his mouth.
Dazai shoved a wayward arm away from his head for what had to be the 50th time in the last 20 minutes. He yanked more of the blanket over himself and curled up tighter. The least he could hope for was that he wouldn’t get kicked off of the bed during the night.
✩₊˚.☪︎ ⁺₊✧
Dazai was playing an imaginary game of sudoku— trying to bore himself to sleep— when he felt the blanket being pulled. He gripped it tighter, unwilling to relinquish even an inch, but then there was a sharp tug.
“Self’sh bastard, quit hoggin’ th’ blanket,” Chuuya slurred, tongue thick with sleep.
“You’re the selfish one. You’re taking up the whole bed,” Dazai muttered back. He wasn’t even sure if Chuuya was awake.
He sure didn’t sound like it.
“Am not,” Chuuya mumbled.
Oh, so he was awake.
“You sleep like a starfish,” Dazai complained, and received a kick to the back in response. The kick sent him tumbling off of the bed and onto the hard floor with an “oof.”
By the time he made it to his feet, Chuuya had stolen back his half of the blanket
Dazai ripped the blanket off of his partner, prompting a noise that sounded both surprised and confused. It would’ve been hilarious if it weren’t nearly two in the morning.
Dazai climbed back into the bed and flopped down on the pillow in a show of indignation, but it backfired when the force caused a cloud of dust to poof into Dazai’s face.
While he was busy spluttering and coughing, Chuuya took the opportunity to reclaim his half of the blanket once more.
“Go the hell to sleep, Shitty Dazai,” Chuuya growled as he rolled over to face the wall.
Once Dazai finished blinking the irritation out of his watery eyes, he scowled, first at the moth-eaten pillow, and then at Chuuya’s back. He lowered himself back to his pillow— carefully this time— and stared at the ceiling.
Insomnia was his usual nighttime companion. It had been hours since he’d started trying to sleep, and his eyes still didn’t even feel heavy.
Dazai rolled over. He usually slept curled up on his left side so that his good eye wasn’t pressed into the pillow. But when he opened his eyes, all he could see was Chuuya— his shoulder rising and falling as he breathed.
Dazai made a face of disgust and turned onto his right side. He pulled his legs up closer to his torso, trying to get comfortable, but his good eye being slightly obscured was making him antsy.
He sighed and returned to laying on his back, glaring at the water marks on the ceiling. He checked the time and sighed again, bending his knees and then lowering them again, trying to rid himself of the nervous energy.
“Would you quit that?!” Chuuya’s voice suddenly snapped through the dark, making Dazai tense.
“Quit what, hatrack?”
“Quit… rolling around and shit,” Chuuya gritted out. “I can’t sleep with you fidgeting so much.”
Dazai felt irritation rise— a consequence of the lack of sleep, the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, and his frustrating battle against insomnia. “Well, I can’t sleep with Chuuya in my personal space,” he hissed back.
Chuuya craned his neck to glare at him. “Just because you can’t sleep doesn’t mean I shouldn't get to. Y’know, here’s a novel idea— maybe you’d actually be able to sleep if you had some food in you. Yeah, don’t think I didn’t notice you skipped out on eating anything.”
“I have a better idea. Chuuya shouldn’t speak on things that he knows nothing about,” Dazai kept his tone light, but the comment was dripping with sarcasm.
Chuuya ground his teeth while he fought to keep his voice even. “Stop moving and count some damn sheep or something.” He rolled over and wrench the blanket over his shoulders.
Dazai growled as his partner went back to sleep. How was it fair that Chuuya could just… go to sleep? He could merely decide to fall asleep and his body would obey.
Dazai closed his eyes. They felt dry, and his limbs felt heavy. Stupid Chuuya. Why should he get to rest when Dazai had to suffer through the long night alone?
Dazai retrieved his mental list of “ways to annoy Chuuya,” and began thinking of new things to add to it. It gave him something to focus on— something besides all the possibilities and plans and information that were constantly circulating in his brain.
The only sound in the room was the consistent rhythm of Chuuya’s soft snores, which created a sort of white noise that was surprisingly soothing to Dazai’s whirring mind. He began to feel himself relax, his own breathing syncing up with his partner’s as he listened for the next, inevitable breath.
He didn’t even notice when he finally drifted off.
✩₊˚.☪︎ ⁺₊✧
Chuuya’s brow furrowed as he was pulled out of sleep. He blinked open heavy eyes to pitch darkness, wondering what had woken him. And then he heard it.
A groan.
Chuuya stiffened. In the months that they’d known each other, he’d never heard a sound like that come from Dazai.
Another sound of distress filled the room, and Chuuya felt Dazai shift restlessly. The cheap sheets rustled with every movement. He seemed to be stuck in the throes of a nightmare.
Chuuya stiffened, unsure of what to do. While he had experience with helping the younger Sheep through nightmares, this was Dazai— his bastard of a partner who was all jokes and impish childishness, avoidant of anything that resembled vulnerability.
He didn’t know if Dazai would appreciate being woken up, because then they’d have to address the situation. And besides, they weren’t close like that.
But when Dazai let out a sound that sounded too close to a whimper, Chuuya couldn’t just lie there and do nothing.
He rolled over so that he was facing Dazai. His partner’s normally perfectly-sculpted face was now pinched in distress.
Chuuya reached out to shake his arm, though he was ready to jump out of the way if the touch resulted in a defensive punch.
He wrapped his fingers around Dazai’s arm and lightly shook him, whispering with a sleep rough voice, “Oi, Dazai. Wake up.”
Dazai flinched and immediately went still. Chuuya quickly retracted his hand, not knowing if the physical touch was making it worse. For a few seconds, the only sound was Dazai’s breathing as he tried to slow it down.
“What does Chuuya want?” The soft question broke the silence, and Dazai almost managed to hide the waver in his voice.
Chuuya cleared his throat. “You were having a nightmare, I think.”
Dazai was quiet for a moment, then, “So?”
Chuuya squinted his tired eyes. “So, I didn’t think I should just leave you to it.”
“I didn't ask you to do that,” Dazai mumbled, and there was an almost petulant note to it.
Chuuya shrugged. “This isn’t my first rodeo.” He lifted a fist to his mouth to muffle a yawn, then checked the time. “It’s 4am. We should get some more sleep.” He heard Dazai huff a breath through his nose.
“Go ahead,” he muttered with an edge of bitterness.
Chuuya sighed. “You should at least try to go back to sleep. We’ve got a long day tomorrow.”
Dazai’s unblinking gaze remained fixed on the ceiling, and there was a slight downturn to his lips.
Chuuya stared at him for a few seconds before letting out another long, tired sigh. He turned on his side facing Dazai and scooted closer to him.
Dazai’s eyes didn’t move from the ceiling, but Chuuya caught the twitch of his jaw as he fought the urge to glance over.
“C’mon, Shitty Dazai.” Chuuya lifted the edge of the blanket in an open invitation.
Finally Dazai turned to look at him, face furrowed in confusion. “What?”
Chuuya, exhausted and impatient, reached out to pull Dazai closer, until they were only a few inches apart. Chuuya tucked the blanket around Dazai’s shoulder, and got himself resettled. From this distance, their warm breaths fanned each other’s faces and Chuuya’s hand rested on the bed between them.
“Now any nightmares will have to get through me first,” Chuuya mumbled, eyes already drooping. The reassurance came automatically after years of repeating it to the younger Sheep.
If he’d been more awake, he would’ve been embarrassed.
If he’d been more awake, he would’ve noticed the way Dazai stiffened— eyes wide and cheeks hot.
If he’d been more awake, he would’ve noticed Dazai slowly relaxing into his body heat, before shifting down and slightly closer until his ear was closer to Chuuya’s heart.
But Chuuya wasn’t more awake. In fact, he was already drifting back to a dreamless sleep.
✩₊˚.☪︎ ⁺₊✧
Chuuya’s eyes flew open. He was slightly sweaty, and the vague remnants of a strong emotion swirled away from him— like a drain flushing away whatever thought had been there.
He didn’t know what thought it could’ve been, seeing as how he didn’t dream.
Maybe it had been his last thought before falling asleep.
Dazai.
Chuuya suddenly became aware of a warm form pressed up against him. He glanced down to see a mop of sleep-tousled curls laying against his collarbone, and resisted the urge to shove Dazai off of him in alarm.
Not that it would’ve done much good. Chuuya had an arm thrown over Dazai’s waist, Dazai was holding onto Chuuya’s hand, and their legs were a mess of tangled limbs.
They must’ve subconsciously become entwined during the night— like a pair of kittens curling up together for warmth.
Chuuya bit back a groan. He was used to sleeping cuddled up for warmth, but this was Dazai.
Although he did grudgingly have to admit, he felt more rested than he had in a while. It had been an adjustment sleeping in his apartment all by himself, so this brought him a comforting sense of familiarity.
But why did it have to be Dazai?
As if he could sense Chuuya’s thoughts, Dazai shifted, snuffling sleepily into Chuuya's tank top.
Chuuya peeked down at his partner's face, but he was still fast asleep. In fact, he looked more rested than Chuuya had ever seen him.
The dark circles under his eyes were a bit lighter.
The furrow between his eyebrows was smoothed.
And his muscles around his mouth were relaxed in a way that suggested that a burden had been lifted.
Chuuya sighed. He would feel like a jerk if he disturbed Dazai’s rest right now. Plus, if he let his partner sleep a bit longer, maybe he would be less insufferable.
Unlikely, but worth a shot.
As he absently played with the ends of Dazai’s hair, Chuuya decided that he would take the high road, and give his partner another hour to sleep. If anyone asked, he would tell them that he had let Dazai sleep for purely selfish reasons.
It certainly had nothing to do with how peaceful Dazai looked with his head pressed so close to Chuuya’s steadily beating heart.